The journey of an agnost to God's realm - Shankar Sharma

A power beyond logic helped me survive

By Shankar Sharma

( From "God and I" column, Deccan Chronicle, June 19, 2008)

Till 2001, I was an agnostic. I never really knew of or accepted the existence of God. Then out of the blue, a tornado came and blew everything away. There were times when I used to sit and think if at all I would survive. Throughout this process I noticed one thing: whenever I was on the brink of collapse, something would happen and I would come on top.

The NDA government accused us of of trying to bring down the government through the Tehelka expose and unleashed a vicious vendetta against us by setting all its agencies against us. The authorities froze our bank account. It was like cutting off our oxygen supply. Then one branch of a bank, after we had approached 20 banks, came to our rescue and agreed to open an account for us. It was a lifeline that kept us alive. When they arrested me I wondered if I would come out alive. I had heard such horror stories about life in jail, about people being beaten and killed etc. I found my time in jail — 74 days — quite therapeutic. Prisoners were very polite and there were some very interesting people. It is a whole different world. I had heard that 99 per cent of the people who go inside bear scars on their psyche, but nothing of that sort happened to me. It was like I was being protected. It was almost like going into a minefield and the mine exploding after I had crossed it. I realised that there has to be a larger force saving me when everyone was trying to pull me down. I went to hell and survived.

Finally, I won the case filed by the Securities and Exchange Board of India and regained my business. That is why I feel there is a force, a power, something beyond logic. That was God’s way of making me get in touch with him.

Recently, I went to see tarot reader Veenu Sandal. What she showed me felt like a movie version of my life in the past 7-8 years. On one of the cards there was an image of a guy lying down wounded and bleeding. There was also a shadowy figure (a soldier) standing behind him. Ms Sandal said that this was my guardian angel looking after me. I feel that if God wanted me dead then I would have been dead. The fact that I did not die means that there was another purpose for me: businesswise and evolutionwise. A lot of good things started to happen at about the same time.

Shankar Sharma is the managing director of

First Global Stock Broking in Mumbai