Inter-religious marriage? Think before you decide.

The following article targeting the youth of today on the need to think twice before taking a decision on interfaith marriage is worth a read. A simple but powerful introduction to this article by Dr Dilip Amin has been given by Dr Stephan Knapp whose contribution to creating awareness about Hinduism is unparalleled.

The complete article can be read at

Interfaith Marriages: What Young Dharmists Should Know

Introduction by Stephen Knapp.

I want to thank Dr. Dilip Amin for putting this thoughtful information together. Interfaith marriages are becoming an increasingly important topic among Dharmic parents. Personally, when it comes to interfaith marriages, I have seen only a few of them really work out. When a Hindu marries someone of another religion, often the spouse who is Muslim or Christian expects the Hindu to immediately or eventually convert. This may be due to a number of factors that are not always obvious at the beginning of the marriage, such a family pressure, or the birth of children, etc. This is especially the case when a Hindu girl marries an Abrahamic spouse. Even if the spouse does not expect conversion, then at least the children are expected to be raised to become Christians or Muslims. Rarely is this otherwise. Even if the children are exposed to both religions and left to make their own decisions about which religion to follow, it is generally found that within one, two, or at most three generations, that family is no longer connected to the Vedic tradition.

However, I have seen marriages work out nicely when, for example, a converted western Hindu male or Dharmist marries an Indian Hindu female, or vice versa, and plan to raise their children in the Vedic tradition. Or even when two converted Hindus marry each other. But when a Dharmic follower marries a person of the Abrahamic faith, the future can be turbulent with unexpected consequences and problems, especially when children are born. Therefore, I do not advise anyone who wants to make sure their family continues in the Dharmic tradition to enter into an interfaith marriage. You simply cannot be sure of what is going to happen, and much heartbreak and turmoil can result. The following two articles below by Dr. Dilip Amin will make this clearer.

Interfaith Marriages:

What Young Dharmists Should Know

By Dr. Dilip Amin, Ph. D.

Some sample FAQs from this 2-part article.

Is religious conversion for marriage wrong?

Not if it is discussed early on in the relationship and agreed to by both parties, without coercion. Some conservative Islamic and Christian families still believe in the superiority of their faiths, thus forcing the spouse of any other faith to convert to their faith before an Islamic Nikaah or a church wedding can take place. Such expectations should be discussed upfront before getting deep into a relationship. To ask an intended spouse to give up his or her religion just before the wedding IS UNETHICAL. In such cases, the coerced spouse feels cheated at a time when they expected to experience some of the sweetest memories of their life. It harbors a doubt in their heart if a spouse deceptively practiced proselytism under the guise of love.

What is wrong if one converts to a new faith just for marriage, as far as allowed to practice his/her own faith after the marriage?

Be careful– Religious conversion is not a hollow ritual devoid of any meaning or consequences. Let's take a Christian-Muslim marriage as an example. As per the Sahadah oath to convert to Islam for Nikaah, you accept and declare that there is no God but Allah and Muhammad is his apostle. Further, you acknowledge that associating others (like Jesus) with Allah is the greatest of all sins. Similarly, baptism before a church wedding means conversion to Christianity and a commitment to repudiate former practices (of Islam) and to live with Christ forever. You must ask yourself what is your intention?

My spouse is open-minded and we could get around these religious expectations.

Remember, a marriage is not just the union of two individuals but, believe it not, a union of two families and two communities. It is ethical to be upfront and honest about your intentions with your new family rather than building life-long relationships on deception and lies.

Conversion is only a formality, why not do it just to please my spouse and his/her family?

The religious conversion is not a one time deal; you are setting a new tone for your life. If you feed a shark, it will come back again for more food. Similarly, religious conversion for marriage will be followed by the expectation of a declaration of faith for your children via baptism, bris or sunat. Later, you may be forbidden to practice your own religion so children would not learn and follow it. Also, your spouse or his/her family may not like to be part of a religious activity while at your parent's home. When your fantasy love period ends and it transforms into a routine married life, then these issues may become sore points in your life.

***********

http://www.organiser.org/dynamic/modules.php?name=Content&pa=showpage&pid=317&page=34

Open Forum Hindu Muslim marriages: NO! By Kuru from Mumbai Hindu-Muslim marriages are extremely offensive for the reason that the Muslim groom imagines himself to be a "conqueror" of one of the kafirs in the way of his ongoing personal jehad against kufr. Thus these marriages are, therefore, a provocation to all the Kafirs (HIndus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Christians, Jews and so on) on earth. NB: Hindus are described as kafirs in Koran which is word of God for the Muslims. Collectively, the Muslims are committed to degrade, subdue, subjugate, enslave, convert, even kill, a kafir (non Muslim) who refuses to convert. millions of Hindus paid with their lives, often in the most brutal manner like Guru Tegh Bahadur, the two little sons of Guru Gobind Singhji and the brave boy Hakikat Rai. Hindus escaping from Pakistan and Bangladesh know this at their cost. Hindu Muslim marriages are obnoxious since the girl must convert to Islam for her safety. If, on the other hand, the groom converts to her Hindus faith then he is inviting his murder at the hands of Muslim zealots. Let us not have short memory to serve the enemy. Hindu Muslim marriages are objectionable because their children also must be raised as followers of Mohammed of Alien ARABIA. NB: If the converted Hindu brides go on giving them countless more Muslims then secularism and democracy in Bharat will not only be seriously endangered but wiped out. We cannot watch our slow extinction. NB: This is exactly what happened in West Punjab, Kashmir and East Bengal. Let us not be blind to reality. Hindu Muslim marriages "stink" because a girl brought up in atmosphere of freedoms is forced to sacrifice her own "way of life" and do things that are obnoxious to her nature due to her upbringing, for example, eating or cooking beef, wasting precious hours of life learning the Arabic language in order to read the Koran, even having to hide under a burqa or face cover, especially if she goes with him to his Pakistan, Iran, Afghanistan or Turkey, etc. Hindu Muslim marriages are most degrading and insulting to Hindu and Sikh girls who are second to none on earth but have to enter a dark medieval society where she could be one of four wives and unable to object or protest. Hindu Muslim marriages are unacceptable where divorce can be effective and binding merely on the husband saying the word "Talaaq" three times in the manner of macho Arab savages fourteen centuries ago. Hindu Muslim marriages are unacceptable since the status of a Muslim wife is very low. She must obey, obey and obey, or get beaten up, even locked up without food and water if the husband is angry and wants to punish her properly according to Sharia Law of his Religion. Hindu Muslim marriages are unacceptable since the girls will not be allowed to enter a mandir or Gurdwara to listen to sweet, melodious and calming divine music ("bhajans and kirtan"). Hindu Muslim marriages are objectionable because in an Islamic society a woman’s place is in the house and she is used only to serve her man and produce children for his Rasul Allah. Talking to any other man is taboo. Many are killed every day in the Islamic world merely on suspicion if a girl or woman in seen talking to a stranger. It is called "Honour killing". Saving girls from the "predators" means saving the future of our "Desh and Dharma". Partition was the direct result of letting them increase their numbers in our own country, and at our own cost. When they had quanity they struck and destroyed quality. So we ought to safeguard our quality, too, not just our mandirs, gurdwaras and the distinctly different ethos and "way of life". Facts ought to be stated fearlessly. Partition not only gave us bleeding memories (loss of everything precious we had, including homes) but also taught us an unforgetable lesson that those areas in which Muslim numbers had grown like cancer cells had to be amputated. Please think of the uneven playing field. While the Muslims force their females to stay at home and dare not talk to a stranger, Muslim man or boy , on the other hand, is free to approach any Hindu or Sikh girl at place or work, club, disco, cinema, office, factory, hotel or restaurant to introduce himself, show excessive courtesy, love & devotion, exchange telephone numbers, invite her out for further secret, one to one, meetings, seduce her by giving presents from sweets to jewellery and thus physically remove her from her own family moorings. Muslim males are out and about on their own like lone hunters while self respecting Hindu and Sikh young men, brought up in ethical family atmosphere, are conditioned to respect parents, culture and social norms. A Muslim, inspired by his Koran, gets thrill introducing his non Muslim girl to his family and friends while a Hindu boy will think twice before even talking to a Muslim female, leave aside take her to his parents’ home. He is conscious of their disapproval and afraid of attack by someone from the enraged Muslim community. We see this fact in Indian films. While no Hindu actor is seen taking Muslim actresses "for a ride" all the Khans take full advantage of excessive Hindu tolerance. Hindu Muslim marriages yes, but only if all such marriages mean the Muslim groom embracing the Hindu or Sikh Faith to honour his bride and to respect her feelings and her parents. Otherwise, as a self respecting nation we ought to make it clear to them that this is now Hindusthan, not their Islamic Pakistan, Iran or Arabia where they can make it one way traffic, i.e., each and every mixed marriage to mean "Advantage and Gain to Mohammed" but shame, humiliation and loss to us. If we love and cherish our daughters, then a print out of this article ought to be given to each one of them. Hindu/Sikh organisations, mandirs and Gurdwaras should distribute this widely in public and congregations. Not to do so under the cover of "political correctness" will be downright cowardince and total betrayal of our own girls.