Poojya Sri Rama,
Please accept my pranams.
You know me very well as one among your countless
creations and I know very well that I am one of those
lowly creatures who is not even qualified to be known
as your devotee. You are Greatness unparalleled, but I
am a manda-buddhin who knows not what to think about,
how to talk and what to talk. It is my fervent wish
that this confession of mine would absolve me of any
apacharam that I will commit during the course of this
I am apprehensive of committing apacharam because in
this letter I am going to question the way you have
fashioned Rama avatharam. Don't think that I am going
to raise the same old bogey of accusation on agni
pariksha. I for one am totally convinced that you
didn't mean to demean or hurt your priya-bhAryaL in
having allowed her to undergo agni-pariksha. I do
understand, just as you, that agni can do no harm to
Sita. This was well indicated twice in Sundhara
Khandam, when Sita invoked Agni deva not to harm
Hanuman when his tail was set on fire and when the
fire spread by Hanuman in Lanka did not touch her. You
know very well, as we too came to know after reading
this khandam that Sita is one who can burn Agni
Himself. Knowing this very well, you
allowed agni-pariksha for Sita.
So the cause of my vichanam is not this. It is
something else. It is about why Sita had to suffer at
all – suffer the pangs of separation from you.
Remember she is one who we believe is inseparable from
you and lives forever in your heart which is her
You too suffered, but we have been told of a previous
incident in which you as Vishnu incurred a curse from
a Rishi when you killed his wife with your Chakrayudha
things, you decided to use it as an alibi during Rama
Tell me, in what way your dear better –half was drawn
into this? You may say that as your patni, she is also
bound to share the good and bad or whatever of that
avathara. But did it stop with just separation from
you? Didn't she suffer more than you? What previous
karma (though unbinding) of hers can you quote to
account for the humiliation and danger she suffered to
her integrity and modesty, for the fear, for the
helplessness and for all those terrible emotions she
underwent in Ashoka vana?
I am asking the same questions that Sita asked.
without AbhushaN – the one who is ever willing to
shower on us all the bounties?
Is it because, as Sita herself had said, she committed
an apacharam to you?
during vana vasa, she lamented that her father had her
married to you without knowing that you are a woman in
that we, the womenfolk use whenever the husband
refuses to see our point of view. I have said like
this to my husband and he has not done any harm to me
in retribution. I am sure you too didn't mind Sita's
accusation at that time.
Then, why did you allow her to suffer?
without having to put your wife in such distress. In
fact you came to the world without your wife on 8 out
of 10 occasions (avatars). Even in Krishna avathara,
you didn't make your wives suffer humiliation in the
hands of a demon like Ravana.
My question is why you made a script in the first
place that held your wife, our mother, in such a sorry
state of affairs. You have all the power to make a
story as you wish and a script as you like. You could
have made the story line for Sita differently.
Certainly if I were to be in your place and enjoyed
all the freedom to create a story line of my choice, I
would not have even in my dreams thought of the
terrible incidents to happen to my mother Sita. Hey
Rama, why couldn't you think differently?
You have disappointed us in another way also. Rama
avatar is the only avatar in which you came to earth
with your dear wife and were all set to live a human
life like us throughout the period you were here. Why
did you spoil it by your own design, Rama? Why did you
rob us of the joy of thinking about you and Sita as
wonderful couple who came to live like us and lived
happily ever through your stay here?
I always compare you with the Sun and Sita with the
Moon and am fascinated to watch these celestial
objects in the sky. When Shukra came too close to the
Moon about one and a half months ago and the crescent moon
seemed to greet Shukra who was in his brightest
splendor then, I imagined how our mother Sita is
benevolent, calm, cool and has a broad mind to allow
shukra to steal the show even while she was sailing in
But a fortnight later I was witness to your fury when
you seemed not to let shukra posses any glory as he
traveled across (the disc of Sun) you.
mere dot on your face, so small and unimportant. At
that time I was really awe-struck by your power to
vanquish the ego of the asura-guru. But now thinking
about the deplorable incidents you assigned for Sita
to undergo, hey Rama, I am sorry to say that the dot
(of asura-guru) indeed looked like a blot on your
face. You could have handled the asura in Ramayana
differently, not necessarily by making your beloved
wife, our Jagan-mAtha a scapegoat! I don't find fault
with you for any of the popularly known debatable
issues such as Vali vadam and agni-pariksha. But I do
fault you for having made our mother suffer ignominy
and indescribable distress. If you can conceive of
such worst scenario for your wife herself, where will
we all go? What difficulties have you decided for us?
Are you right in having scripted a tough scenario for
Sita? Tell me Rama, tell me.
The emotion that one picks up while reading
Sita's dhukkham and 'kadaral' –
What paapam did I do in my previous birth
understanding to empathise with Piratti (Sita) and console
himself that his ordeal is not as bad as what Sita
underwent and trains him to look at good and bad in
life with equanimity. (when Piratti Herself has
underwent so much suffering, my suffering is not
something big. I can certainly manage –this is the
message directed at a majority of us who are finding
it difficult to cope with sufferings of life. "van
siraiyil van vaikkil" –NDP)
of grasp of bhagawan's leela that He will wait and
watch ONLY TILL we reach the breaking point, but
before that happens he would certainly do the right
thing for us - as how rushed to save Draupathi though
He waited till the moment she stopped believing
herself, how He had Hanuman interfere when Janaki lost
all hopes and prepared to commit suicide. Let me
borrow the idea from Paapanasam Shivan who says why
God does like this. "Sodhanai theeyil sphutahmiduvAn;
irangi thooki eduthu Anadam aLitthiduvaan".
us glow with virtues. In spite of all this suffering,
if we stand the ordeal, then comes the third level.
arrival to release the chethana from suffering.
(refer Acharya Hridhayam – 125 &126, P.B.
Annagraracharyar vyakhyanam). When like Sita, the
chethana is completely immersed in thoughts of Him
waiting for him as a savior, He too thinks about the
chethana like how Rama was completely immersed in
thoughts of Sita. The perfect 'chemistry' works then
and the chethana is at the verge of attaining
'release'. Even then the Lord holds out the Final test
for everyone to see that this chethana is indeed the
perfect candidate to live with Him in Parama patham.
in the form of Swapadesam does not answer the doubts
that we at the present juncture have.
The problem with us is that we read / interpret the
words as they are. If Sita laments what dhosham she
has, we take it in the literal sense and try to figure
out what dhosham she has!! If she wonders what
apacharam she has done, we immediately look for
apacharams – both bhagavad and bhaagavatha. If one
thinks that there indeed exists instances in Ramayana
that denote dhosham or apacharam on the part of Sita,
it is said that any inquiry such as this must based on
the stipulated rules and assumptions (like in science)
laid down by none other than Ramanuja.
Ramanuja's methodology employs 6
first one based on perception of form and structure
(herein the outward meaning of Sita's lamentation) and
the second, the kind of perception which is the
product of discriminative activity (vikalpa) based on
the other pramanas. (Eg – understanding the expression
'village on the Ganga' in V.S –verse 179)
The shabda –based inference has it that Sri is
"ishwarIm sarva bhoothanaam" (SrI sookhtham) and that
"She is all-pervading even as Vishnu is all-pervading'
(Vi.Pu) and puts her on equal footing with Him (v.s.
217) Whatever attributes that He has, She also has is
what we have as Testimony. When He is born as a Deva,
She too is born as a Deva. If He is born as a human
being, She too is born as a human being. If He is all
righteousness personified, She too is all
righteousness personified. If He can not be otherwise,
she too can not be otherwise. Therefore to proceed
with the assumption that Sita is culpable of dhosham
or committing apacharam itself is fallacious.
Elsewhere Sita wonders whether it is vidhi (destiny)
that is making her suffer. We find Hanuman also making
such statements in Sundara khandam. But we take this
reference to destiny as being the cause of Sita's
suffering with a pinch of salt because of our
conviction (supported by scriptures) that destiny and
karma do not bind the divine couple.
The question then comes how to explain the so-called
'dhosham and apacharam', the evidence for which is
found in Ramayana itself.
To explain this we base our understanding by combining
the two steps of perception.
The only kind of apacharam that Sita herself speaks of
is what she tells Hanuman about her goading of Rama
before going on vana vasa in a bid to make Rama take
her along with Him. It is to be noted that she doesn't
think about this when she was lamenting in isolation
in the Ashoka vana but only when she sends the message
through Hanuman. It is to be interpreted as a scuffle
between the divine couple where we have no place to
sit on judgement. It happens in our life too and we
know that the children in no way interfere in the kind
of altercation such as this taking place between the
If it be said that Sita in the mortal form
has committed this Bhagavad apacharam, it is to be
noted that Bhagvan is one (from Sita's refrain in
kaakasura vriddhantham, sarga 38, sundara khandam) who
believes 'en adiyaar kuttram cheyyaar. Appadi
chaithaalum adu kuttramaai eraadu' and accepts the
adiyaar. Sita as one will be seen as devoid of any
'kuttram' (offence) by Rama. Therefore the question of bhagavad
apacharam is simply non-existent.
The other sin according to some is the bhaagavatha
apacharam supposedly done by Sita to Lakshmana.
Whatever altercation that has happened between the
two when Rama went after Mareecha and when Sita
commanded Lakshmana to make agni, it is something like
what happens between the mother and the son. Sita's
very first query about Lakshmana proves this. As
mother in her capacity as 'manni' (brother's wife) ,
To make a better understanding that the idea of
dhosham or apacharam on the part of Sita is just non
–existent, we resort to another tool namely,
anupalabdhi or non-apprehension. Non-apprehension of
something (in this context, non-apprehension of
Piratti's Nir-dhosha qualities) is subject to error
in perception, wherein the first level of perception
alone is taken into consideration without taking into
account the second level which is necessary to arrive
at the correct judgement of perception. This must be
read along with Arthabdhi (assumption) based on
For example when we say that stars are not found in
the day, it is anupalabdhi based on the arthabdhi
that it is due to the luminosity of the sun. But if we
say that stars do not exist in the day we will be
committing an error. Non-apprehension of something,
according to Ramanuja must be analysed along with the
knowledge whether the non-apprehended thing exited in
the past (just before non-apprehension) and in the
future. Non-apprehension of Piratti's 'pure' qualities
without taking reference from what She was before and
after the given instance will lead us to arrive at a
fallacious statement which is what has happened in the
various altercations on this subject.
In a similar vein Rama can not be attributed with
being un-righteous to Sita while being righteous as a
ruler etc, when he asked for agni-parIksha. Simply
because Rama can not be wrong as how Sita can not be!
To understand this, let us employ the first pramana,
Just a reading of Sita's very first enquiry about
kshEma-lAbham of Rama and others is sufficient.
(sargam 36) It is here a wonderful tattwa of
sthreethwa is at its glowing best. After making
enquiries about Rama and others (in just 10 verses),
Sita's main concern is about how Rama is braving the
loss of Sita (which runs into many verses) "Does he
still think about me? Does he pray to God to get me
back soon? Does he make all steps at his disposal to
reach to me? Does he still remember me, the one who is
in a far away land? Has the purva snEham between us
undergone any change? Is he worried about me, sad and
afraid about the conditions I am in? .. (After all her
queries about whether Rama thinks only about her and
nothing else, she concludes ) Can anyone, be his
mother whose love for him has no bounds or his father
who died due to separation from him or the other
relatives be a match to me in HIS HEART?"
I consider this as the clue to unravel the truth
behind the issue under discussion. This is sthreethwa
at its best which only a sthree can understand. The
love for her husband is so intense that it is the
basis of pathi vradha dharma. Just prior to the entry
of Hanuman we find her despairing that Rama would
complete his vana vasam without finding her out and go
back to Ayodhya, have Rajyabhishekam and be happy with
other 'women'. This worry about whether the husband
has forgotten the wife or still thinks about her with
unwavering and unbroken love is the core part of
sthreethwa and the complete faith that the wife gets
to hold by virtue of experiencing the unalloyed love
of the husband (samsleshatthil dharikkai,
vislEshatthil dhariaamai) makes her a pathi-vradhai
whereby she would be ready to undergo sufferings of
any kind and to any extent just to uphold the honour
of the husband which in fact is a shared
responsibility of the two. Sita would have undergone
agni-pravesham with absolutely no qualms or regrets or
even without Rama having to tell her because if it is
by that she can uphold Rama's honour, which she would
be happy to do! There is no question of one commanding
the other to do a specific act for the sake of a
shared responsibility of the two.
of reasoning is the most plausible one can be proved
by the fact that of all the different dharmas that
Rama came to establish, the one as Eka patni vradhan
is the foremost. Whenever we think of the purpose of
Rama avathara, we don't even think of Ravana vadam or
pitru-vakhya paripalanam etc but about Rama as
Eka-patni vradhan. Throughout Ramayana, Rama stands
as an embodiment of this virtue even as Sita stands as
a purushakara bhoothai with qualities such as anayarha
seshatwam. Rama is the Eka-patni vradhan for the
chethanas too who think of Him and nobody else and who
wait for union with Him with the life-long 'kadaral'
-'koovikkoLLum kaalam innum kurugaadO'.
undergoes the pangs of separation from the chethanas
and longs to join this chethana – a fact that can be
cross-checked with Gitacharyan's longing,
"Bahoonaam janmaanade gyanavaanmaam prapathyathe/
Vasudeva: sarvam ithi sa mahathma sudhurlabha//"
Let me now move on to my prime vichanam that I
expressed in the Open letter to Rama – why God
conceived a script such as the one in Ramavathara.
Since both are possessed of same kind of divine
qualities, it is worthwhile to know who among the two
decided the script. To know this we must understand
the 'relationship' or 'equation' between the two. (How
words are inadequate to express this idea!! Or is it
to do with my inadequacy by way of lack of command of
Taking Ramanuja's words as pramana (V.S. 217), Sita
or Sri is the mother of the Universe, is eternal and
knows no separation from Vishnu. (Jhanardhan and
Vishnu are synonyms, says 159, V.S. whereby we assume
that Vishnu as mentioned here is Supreme.) If it be
said that She is one with Him, how does one understand
the injunction, "Being alone, all this was in the
beginning, one only, without a second." (Chandogya –VI –
To clarify this, it is said that Sita as Sri, though
said to have originated during the churning of the
milky ocean, must have existed even before that, from
the Beginning in or as part of the 'one only without a
second'. The 'one only' does not negate Her union in
Him at that time, as the 'one only' speaks of causal
condition of the Supreme, so says Ramanuja in B.S.
But then how to substantiate that She existed in Him
at that Time? We refer to the injunctions, which speak
about 'will' as in 'It willed that It may become many'
and 'Thought' as in 'It thought – May I become
manyfold and be born' (chandogya) are of the nature of Sri
without whose existence / insistence, the Supreme does
not contemplate to do anything.
The Will or the Thought are part of Him which for
simpler understanding are said to be seated in His
manas. Ramanuja acknowledges this in his dhyaana sloka
to Sri Bhashyam to Vedanta sutras thus :- " May my
understanding assume the form of loving devotion to
the Highest Brahman who is the Home of Lakshmi." The
implication that He will not do anything without being
told by Lakshmi is further authenticated by
Purvacharyas. (EvaL purushakaaramaanaalalathu,
Ishwaran kaaryam cheyyaan ) (samsleshatthil Ishwaranai
thirutthum … iruvaraiyum upadesatthaal thirutthum …
Ishwaranai azhagaalE thirutthum)
It is therefore concluded that Piratti as the Will or
Thought-force of the lord is the one who actually aids
Him in His actions. Connecting this to my vichanam why
Rama made a script such as the one He used in
Ramavathara, it is said that it She, not He who is
responsible for such a script. Imagining a samvAdham
between the two in pAr-kadal (Milky ocean)
that Piratti as the Will of Lord dominated the writing
of the story.
If it be said that Sita has been at the receiving end
of Rama's unjust treatment (?), it can not be so
because it is she who decided to have such treatment!!
Can a 'victim' who voluntarily wants to look like a
victim, be a victim?
If it be said that Sita is culpable of dhoshams of
sorts (?), it can not be so. Because can any one
deciding to take a role that seems (note- 'seems') to
have dhosham be attributed with that dhosham? Based on
this derivation, let me attempt to see how SriRama
could have written His reply to my open letter.
Here it is :-)
REPLY FROM SRIRAMA TO MY OPEN LETTER.
Dear Sow Jayasree,
I have forwarded your mail to your thaayaar (mother) Sita
Everyone of you think that I am a Swathanthran (independent).
thaayaar beside me.
aatti vaippadu patri unakku solla thevai illai.
enough that justice is done, but justice is seen to be
done'. Your thaayaar makes it appear that I do my
functions as a swathanthran whereas it is she who is
behind all that I do. I have many astras which are
capable of piercing through 14 lokas. But your thaayar
has just one astra called 'kaN asaippu' (sight)
You don't know the power of kaNNasaippu.
before we set out for the forest or about gifting her
hAram to Hanuman at the time of Pattaabhishekam,
look as though I am a swathanthran or the deciding
Even now she has given me a long list of
recommendations and if I don't take action
immediately, she would be there before me to get her
wish fulfilled. She would go to any extent to prove
her point, even to the extent of hardships that she
planned for herself in Ramavathara.
Unakku theriyaadu kuzhandhe, Jayasree, (you don't know Jayasree)
was a bit exaggerated.
children at some point of time may take them in their
face value and start thinking of mis-demeanors on her
part. But instead of accepting my suggestion, your
thaayaar suggested that I take up some blame on my
part to compensate for it and scripted the
vaali-vadham in the way that it was finally enacted.
What can I do about it?
Actually I have no time to write more. I have to rush
to take action on her recommendations before she hands
me over another list. InimEl un paadu, un thaayaar
paadu. Ennai aaLAi vidu.
Your loving father,