Dr Kalam, the exalted Athman we are
fortunate to have lived along with, is being remembered for having been an
inspiration to many. My thoughts about him took me to the articles where I have
written about him. One such article written soon after he became the President
of India was lingering on my mind for long. It was about Karma and Destiny. Here
I meant Karma in the meaning of action and destiny as the resultant action or
Prarabdha Karma. Prarabdha Karma is what is going to happen whether we work towards
it or not. But Karma is what we have to keep doing with our thoughts and decisions
– which are of course motivated by our vasanas infused with the three gunas
(sattwa, rajasa and tamasa). Under the spell of these gunas, and without being
aware that we are indeed propelled by these gunas, we keep doing karma. (“na hi
kaschit kshanamapi jaathu thishtatya karmakruth / kaaryathe hyavasha karma
sarva prakruthi jair gunaihi//” BG – 3-5)
In that process, the kind of attitude
that we develop – by the spell of gunas or by freewill – if it is there (!?) define
how a person evolves. In a rejoinder to an
article by Debarshi Sen highlighting the karmic angles in the lives of Dr
Kalam and Mr Verghese Kurien, I wrote about the importance of attitude towards
how an action needs to be done rather than the action (karma) itself. Reading
those lines I thought – here lies the tribute that I have to offer to Dr
Kalam!
I wrote, “These two (Dr Kalam and Mr
Kurien) undoubtedly performed their karma in the new environs,
but what fetched them rewards is their attitude — the mind to accept whatever
comes in their way and perform with utmost commitment and dedication. Had they
cast their eyes on the results of their karma, the disappointment
from denial might have proved too much. They, instead, banked upon samathvam—
treating failure and success alike — and went ahead with undiluted enthusiasm
and dedication into what the Gita calls as karmasu kaushalam (dexterity
in action). This attitude termed as samathvam, coupled with
dexterity in action ensures that at no time failure bogs one down. A person
with samathvam will care less about the results and instead
start concentrating more on how to improve his performance.”
It is easier to write this and speak
high about this virtue which is essentially the core of Sankhya yoga taught by
Gitacharyan. But when we are actually facing a difficult situation – a crisis,
this samathvam is just a word and not deed. When I myself faced tribulations in
my life that put me offline for a year, I realized why Krishna specifically picked
out King Janaka as an example for Karma yogi. It is easy to talk about karma
and attitude, but to follow it when you are in the thick of the forest fire is
something difficult. May be you need a
Divine help to regain your samathvam. The many thoughts on Dr Kalam that is
around me at this moment of his departure made me think – should I allow my
personal loss and pain derail my strive towards samathvam? This samathvam is
not to do with results or expectations, but about how I am as always, in spite
of the trials I am undergoing.
Most of the articles on Dr Kalam at this
moment are about his connect with students or him as a People’s President. But
not many seem to think how he had to wade through the aversion of the Sonia
dispensation and Karunanidhis’ 'Kalam
is kalagam' remark that denied him a
2nd term. Dr Kalam did not
aspire for the position but he did want to become the President as that would
give him another opportunity to make himself heard well and all around. When
that opportunity was denied he did not get stuck, but instead found other ways
to reach out to the youth – which he did till he breathed his last.
This is the message I read from him at
this juncture in my life. As I go through the comments that have been piling up
for a year – and numerous mails and phone calls that are asking me why I am
silent, I am asking myself - Why am I silent? Am I lost into myself and in my
pains? At the same time I know that nothing is going to be lost if a Jayasree
does not write. Or can I allow myself to rust, or write whatever I know whether
it is useful or not to others.
With these kinds of numerous thoughts, I
thought of the remark of Dr Kalam as being on the God-synchronous orbit – a
never ending travel that can only be stopped when God sucks you. Perhaps by
getting back to writing till I am exhausted, I can pay him the best tribute that
I can.